Today, you can call me Carmen

Dancing Oblivion

2010-07-06T11:36:00.000-05:00

Jake's House

2010-04-06T12:44:00.001-05:00

Visited the house for the first time since the wake. It's painful to look at pictures from the past and know that she was there and now she's not. Strange.

Trust

2010-04-06T12:35:00.002-05:00

Apparently I have trust issues...

perhaps it's just that I question motivation. Forgive, never forget, question motives.

ever been

2010-02-18T19:51:00.002-05:00

spiraling so fast that every turn brings you further down than up all sense of direction gone no bubbles to follow or light questioning then who does have your best interest in mind not him he negates too often not me too self effacing and the system is just demoralizing the things that matter the most which move close enough for you to touch and smell but too far for you to grab for safety that you can never have because it was denied years ago when you spiraled up sliding around a street sign feeling the tug of reality but happily closing your eyes to the warm sunshine on your face

maybe that's when you died
that's why things seem so good
every year can't get better
no one is that fortunate
except that lady in the west at the nameless diner serving pie happy with the aquanet and anonymity

yep, except her

Fall picture time

2009-11-12T18:41:00.001-05:00

Movies I watch, more than once

2009-11-08T23:15:00.002-05:00

Breakfast at Tiffany's (so often Will clued in to buy it for a gift...really is a big deal)

Love, Actually

Bridget Jones' Diary

Sixteen Candles

Gone with the Wind (recitation on demand)

Summer School

The End of the Affair

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Footloose

Clue

Baby Boom

Funny Farm

Ghost

GhostBusters

Enchanted

Chicago

Peggy Sue Got Married

I'm awaiting a committee meeting tomorrow at 1pm. Guess I can waste time watching movies...and ...so forth...

Blues Brothers

Holiday Inn

Forgetting Sarah Marshall..cereal and surfing

Election

Requiem for a Dream

Notting Hill (really love it)

Imagine Me & You

Love Story

Almost anything with Parker Posey...so funny

St. Elmo's Fire (always wanted to have a group like that...I think I did...didn't like my role)

The Last Starfighter

The Lost Boys

Point Break

Logan's Run

Adventure's in Babysitting

Red Dawn

Road House

Big Trouble in Little China

Real Genius

Top Guns

more for later

Photo

2009-11-07T11:22:00.004-05:00

Happy Halloween Gators!!

2009-11-02T13:39:00.002-05:00

Arg

2009-10-12T08:42:00.002-05:00

Some people are so full of shit...but so be it. Just. be. genuine. honest. sincere. polite. open. kind.

Faltering happens

Lacking kindness on occasion

Humble infrequently

But

Always

Genuine and Open

Very cool...I wanna do it too

2009-09-14T07:31:00.000-05:00

Big ass spider

2009-09-01T08:44:00.002-05:00

I love lawn work. In the race to the lawnmower, I always win...or at least Will lets me think I've won. Sunday I went to the cavernous bomb shelter to get the lawnmower and was confronted by a BIG ASS SPIDER! Now you are thinking that I'm exaggerating and just thought it was large...being that I'm terrified of the little freaks, but NO, it really was a BIG ASS SPIDER. I woke Will from a snooze on the sofa because I had to show him this mutant living under the house. My brave fella got the flashlight and went into the den of freakish insects and arachnids to search out the critter. He looked around and saw nothing then, crunch, or more like, mush. I think he broke one of it's legs. We put the specimen in a glass jar so we could both be disgusted by the furry brown gag inspiring creature. That's all, nothing else, it was gross, Will caught it, I think there may be more, it's in a jar, and it was a BIG ASS SPIDER.

In other news, classes started and this will be my last year of coursework. I've got the year worked out so that I will no longer have to sit through three hours of mind and ass numbing lectures. I can't tell you how relieved I feel. Now it just comes down to keeping up and learning something for comps and dissertation. Understand, however, that I might not have a job lined up to pay for this lifetime of debt, as I am too old and weathered to strip and my people skills (or lack there of) stop me from working reception. We'll see.

Mason has become Scarlett's shadow. It is so heartwarming to see the two of them running around and playing. He wants to do whatever she is doing. If she sits in the floor working on a puzzle, he is right there messing with the pieces. Scarlett loves her brother or her baby. She races to see him first thing in the morning and gets upset if anyone else opens his door. They are the coolest kids...no goobers here. Mason has started saying many new words: Mabel, Jack, kitty, dog, Moo, Baa, Momma, Dada, this or that, all done, more more, bye and hi. There are more, but I can't think of them at the moment. Scarlett can read some words and can write almost anything. She carries around a little notebook taking notes. She looks like a miniature Nancy Drew, so cute.

Planning a trip to FL

2009-08-26T08:49:00.001-05:00

We didn't make it over the summer...too much going on at the house.

Looks like Will is making plans...wants to see family and friends.

Don't know when...sometime in September.

From Hope

2009-08-16T10:01:00.000-05:00

Check out this site, enter your zip code and it will tell you what you can recycle in your area.

Just enjoy the show

2009-08-12T13:00:00.001-05:00

Tupelo in The Cave

2009-08-08T22:23:00.003-05:00

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to enjoy the melodies of an old friend, Ashley Chambliss. At 14, I can remember sitting by her piano and listen to her create a storm of sound. She turned the keyboard into an entire orchestra...she was 16. We laughed, sang, played, and drank (yes mom and dad). We used cans of hair spray to get awesome beehives and drove our chorus teacher nuts with laughter. Sharing clothes, make up, and secrets, we had fun. I probably had a crush on her. I remember a falling out...I think over a peach prom dress (can you believe it?). So many years ago, but still, I find her amazing. She feels and puts it out there with her songs.

A few years ago we started chatting and emailing, yay technology. We shared stories about our life paths with brutal honesty. It seemed easy to be honest about the suburbs with someone I felt connected to in an oppositional way.

She is so talented. Her skill at the keyboard and her heartfelt songs mean something to me. Even Hope, once commented on how much she loved Ashley's music. You can look in the archive for her reference. Ashley inspires me. I watch her play in a dingy dark "cave" with low hanging ceilings and a shop vac duct taped to the toilet. Red wine courage brought me into the bar and the minute I heard her say my name, I felt like one of those screeching "Oh My God" girls.

Her performance was great and I can't wait to see her play again. She seems like she is in such a good place in her life. So talented, thoughtful, beautiful, and peaceful...I hope I can make a positive impact in her life, too.

Much love to you Ashley

Anna

What I do know

2009-08-02T10:01:00.002-05:00

is that you are there for me....our roaming bubble of health, happiness, and kindness.

you can talk for 12 hours about college football, players turned pro, and college conspiracy theories.

you let me sleep in on Saturday morning...knowing that Sunday you may not get to sleep in for as long.

the happiest moments in my life were because of you.

you took the baggage, the jealousy, the skinny broken teenager...the whole package, bumps, bruises, family and all.

you are there, always.

in the middle of the night when that terror strikes, so rare now, you will get out of bed and turn the lights on in the house and walk me to the kitchen. You're awake, you say. and it's ok.

you are a better judge of people's intentions, sometimes.

you sure can run.

everyday, I remember fewer days of me and more days of us, and I like it.

you crack a mean coconut...one of my favorite days...ever.

the card reader in Jackson Square in New Orleans told us that I was going to have a couple of amazing things happen in my life and that you better hope to be there...they did and you were there...

you let me throw a broom at you.

against unappreciative eyes, you carried my laundry.

Zook didn't scare you away.

get your geek on Friday is fun because of you.

you fold laundry and remove spiders, my superhero.

I linger in stores, "just one more thing," you let me be that bag lady scavenger.

you want a crazy RV too.

On the way to the post office

2009-07-31T11:15:00.002-05:00

S: Where are we going?

Me: Just down the street. (the kid knows how to get anywhere and everywhere)

S: are we going to the place where you mailed those letters that time, remember that

Me: Yes, that is where we're going. I do remember.

S: Why did you mail those letters?

Me: They were different types of letters. Some to friends and family.

S: Why did you send them letters?

Me: Because I care about them and love them.

S: and you miss them?

Me: That too.

S: I want to send a letter to Aunt Hope, cause I miss her.

Tears

Today

2009-07-31T11:13:00.002-05:00

Changing Mason's poop diaper after lunch

He reached up and grabbed my hair laughing

Gooey substance

Peanut butter or poop?

Mommydom

Yesterday

2009-07-24T11:17:00.002-05:00

I was out painting the deck and I had a conversation with Hope. I asked her what I should tell Scarlett because of the random and varied questions she throws at me. We'll be driving in the car or she'll be watching a show and suddenly start crying or become sad, "because I miss Aunt Hope."

We'll today we we're watching a recording of So You Think You Can Dance...we like to pretend we can dance, Scarlett and I. Damn them for giving us a reason to talk.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINA!!!

2009-07-23T10:42:00.000-05:00

A day early so that I said it First!!

You never can tell

2009-07-22T22:57:00.000-05:00

It’s the sense that you know the horrors and the bad that makes having children so difficult. I feel it looming, that cloud of danger, omnipresent and dark. They hover in the distance, lurking, waiting for a step away in trusted surroundings and a false sense of security. You can’t trust that. Not in the projects, not in the suburbs. They are there and danger is certain. It’s knowing that frightens me the most. Panic. Fear. Pain that enters in the time when I’m alone…

Last night I dreamed of a ship. The water. As it started to sink I climbed staring up at the foaming waves. The railing was white. It was an earthquake.

Minehaha...in reverse order

2009-07-18T09:55:00.002-05:00

FYYFF!

2009-07-16T21:34:00.002-05:00

One bottle of red and no filter. Suck it.

MY students are funny. I call them mine like I have some sense of ownership, but at one time in their lives, I did “own “ them as far as the Brevard county school district is concerned.

My point, I don’t have one. I began the day bitter. My ankle was twisted and I hated my PhD program and I felt like I went too hard on the contractor. Did I mention I dyed my hair four times this month, talk about mood swings…

So I asked on facebook, tell me about a moment between us, when I met you, etc… Some of my former students replied, so honestly. Yes, I (we if Davidson is concerned) took them to Lucky Chengs….which according to the Sheraton TV was a family restaurant. Let’s just say, it’s not, and it was fantastic. Anywho, I will be interested in taking any and all to a reunion at the joint.

FYYFF (Davidson, you know what this means)

John Grisham, your daughter is sweet. Her car is above her status as a human. You write and make me question ethics. Fuck you.

Chris Connelly, you used to tell me about the “news” on Mtv, now you “read” for ESPN. Fuck you.

Nicholas Sparks, you wrote The Notebook. I cried for two fucking hours after watching the movie. You’re no Graham Greene, you bastard. Fuck you for making me feel insignificant and unloved. Fuck you.

Ryan Reynolds. Abs. Funny. Nuf said. Fuck you.

Megan Fox. Two movies away from cinemax, but damn, you are hot. Fuck you.

Jim. Wild hair. You make me feel inadequate, continually. Ahhhh, but candy bikinis. Fuck you.

Silver hair. So we have met for the first time, but not the last time. The shock of the light blonde hair after that OOPS shower was a littler overwhelming. I mean, I wanna look all superhero and such, but oh my, didn’t expect such a mess. Silver, you are my nemesis and my maker. Fuck you.

Eyeliner. My addiction. Who knew you could tube down the Soque with your eyes on? I did! Fuck you.

Ben Affleck. You had your chance…..Benanna. Fuck you.

You. You don’t hear me. Fuck you.

Planes. There are those that believe in your nonsense of mid air travel. They are fools looking for a quick fix. Fuck you.

Oprah. You didn’t visit Hope, not even a letter. You talk of spirit to middle class white mothers. Fuck you.

Ankle. Fuck you.

HBO. When are you going to teach me about some strange cult of sexual deviants that I have yet to discover? You keep airing real sex episodes from 1988. I want to see new hippies in the woods. Fuck you.

Sun. You cause cancer. I love you and your embracing warmth. Fuck you.

Sarah Palin. That voice, ugh. Fuck you.

You, with the vagina. Stop having children and get a job. Fuck you.

Bitter childless Doctors. Fuck you.

Torn meniscus? What the fuck? Bucket flap? Fuck you.

No, you don’t need calgon. You just need an IUD, a passport, and a fancy backpack. Fuck you.

CCC’s…change the world, welcome culture, but not in my backyard or from my wallet. Fuck you.

“I think you just wrote this paper to write one and be done with it.” No shit. Do you think I would sit around in the middle of watching someone I love die and throw myself into your research? Fuck you.

Transcribe them, I don’t even know them…Fuck you.

So I heard you died. Sorry I missed it. I’m sure you would have loved seeing me there. I’m not sure that anyone who carries around a giant cardboard cut out of themselves half naked could be anything but a narcissistic asshole. Fuck you.

But you died alone at a nursing home. Nursing home, Fuck you.

Tara Reid. I watched a movie…you were in it…it was awful and impossible to turn off. Fuck you.

Disturbing…

Maybe...

2009-07-16T21:18:00.001-05:00

Dr: So is the new medication helping you sleep?

Me: No, but the new meds, two klonopin, tylenol pm, and three blue moons are working a little

July 4th

2009-07-10T20:35:00.001-05:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

Father's Day at the Ballpark - Part II

2009-06-24T19:00:00.002-05:00

Second Year, Two kids, more fun!

So glad this plant isn't in my neighbor's garden

2009-06-19T08:45:00.002-05:00

Here come the Zombies....everybody freak out.

Massive "Corpse Flower" Set for Rare Blooming in U.S.

My first 5k for Hope

2009-06-13T21:58:00.003-05:00

I'm a little too emotional to write now, but know that this was an amazing event. Moving, truly.

to some of you

2009-06-11T20:44:00.002-05:00

you
believe the drama because you want to
you
exaggerate the truth because it’s in your nature
you
need someone to fall a step behind
you
can’t help it
you
were raised that way
you
aren’t considering the source
you
are exclusive
you
always have a story
you
make me laugh
you
know all about the life that comes with comfortable shoes
you
make words sing
you
melt my heart
you
have always been in my thoughts
you
suck
you
let me get away with anything
you
have beautifully painted toenails
you
were a bitch in elementary school
you
were my friend
you
took me to the bathroom after I puked in your bed
you
danced with me all night long
you
are nosy
you
are not black
you
don’t know
you
need so much attention
you
want me
you
make me happy
you
need help
you
put my hand out when it caught on fire
you
carried me up three flights of stairs in Chicago
you
said I had a big forehead
you
died
you
are transparent
you
will understand one day
you
are a liar
you
are so focused
you
have a bad tattoo
you
have an unfortunate name
you
hurt me on purpose
you
didn’t know I could spell
you
should not have touched me there
you
are privileged
you
never apologized
you
always help
you
are jealous
you
are not my friend
you
spit milk out your nose
you
didn’t tell when I stuffed my bra
you
were a good kisser
you
are a phony
you
were cute
you
have ugly feet
you
must not know what it feels like
you
should be more honest with yourself
you
need a job
you
are neglectful
you
don’t respect your parents
you
have a nasty home
you
should not have children
you
smoke too much weed
you
are an idiot
you
are absentee
you
will miss me
you
have great taste
you
wore too much spandex
you
have tits that look like empty socks
you
are fortunate
you
are so honorable
you
should try harder
you
are always unhappy
you
will never get what you want
you
know all my favorite movies
you
are a weird dude
you
are a loud talker
you
won’t get out of the garage
you
won’t take me on an adventure
you
played Ratt on the stereo
you
wore jean cutoff shorts, too short
you
look very different
you
need to buy an rv
you
don’t act like a professional
you
are bitter and old
you
need another drink
you
got me on a plane
you
pretended not to notice me in the bar
you
broke my heart
you
are a horrible teacher
you
don’t know twat
you
love happy hour
you
will hate me one day
you
will never really know me
you
had a giant bush
you
tracked mud through the house
you
liked crystals
you
look like her
you
should be my friend
you
i loathe
you
are so short you fit in my armpit
you
aren't worth my tactics
you
let me shoot the gun
you
had a sinker in your toilet
you
always have stuff in your teeth
you
have a big voice
you
say butter and it's weird
you
stepped on my cat's tail
you
are not allowed to say, "wow"
you
didn't save me
you
hit me at the bus stop
you
made me feel special at your home
you
got a second chance
you
don't understand me

NC Zoo

2009-06-01T14:26:00.004-05:00

So we decided to make a trek over to the NC Zoo in Asheboro. We saw a couple of animals, but on the whole had more fun walking around and hanging out. The kids are out of school now and I'm sure our days will be very interesting. Enjoy the pictures.

I have now been to the Grit

2009-05-26T15:32:00.003-05:00

For a few years A has been yammering on about the grit...Elizabeth City, NC. Well, this weekend we traveled through a lack of cell reception and public toilets to attend her wedding in Elizabeth City. Beautiful! The town is cute (oh so tiny, but cute), the wedding was beautiful, and the bride was beautiful. It was great, except when I ran into the glass door, but still great. Our camera ran out of batteries (YET AGAIN). Here's what we collected.

Cute?! Baby ducks are cute!

2009-05-04T08:35:00.003-05:00

Our first Bulls game of the season. We had tickets when Tina was here, but alas, we were rained out. It was the Blue Monster's birthday and Scarlett LOVED the hot dog canon! Tina, it shoots t-shirts, not hot dogs :( ...

I hated the multiplication tables

2009-05-04T08:33:00.002-05:00

but I loved those damn loafers!

Yep, front row...big hair (of course)...bigger smile.

Death and rebirth

2009-05-04T08:06:00.003-05:00

In Palm Beach, FL, an older woman, somewhere around 70 years, passed away last week. She had a life, a family, and friends. She was an organ donor.

Drive a few hours south and you hit Ft. Lauderdale, FL. My Uncle Tim waits for a new lease on life. He has been battling liver disease for almost a year. It was shortly after Mason was born last June that the doctors diagnosed Timmy. Giving him months to live, they suggested hospice. Fail! Timmy started hospice so he could get medication and time to get government assistance for his medical care.

Backstory...Timmy sold his home and left his job to begin anew in Florida after a messy divorce. He hadn't been on his new job long enough for his insurance to start up and he had let his past insurance lapse distracted by the home sale and move. Unable to return to work and now diagnosed with terminal liver failure, he had no option for care but hospice. The government's failed health care system suggested that he just go and die in hospice.

My grandmother didn't give up. She wrote to state official's...spoke with doctors...pushed social security and medicaid...tossed the morphine and canceled the hospice care. They came and took his hospital bed from the house...because he wanted to live.

Last week, the woman in Palm Beach passed away and doctors transferred her liver to Ft. Lauderdale. My grandmother answered the call from the doctor and took Timmy to the hospital to accept his new liver.

He called us two days ago. We had visited him during the holidays and I had talked with him on the phone a few times. The heartbreak of seeing someone I cared for so sick and so helpless was terrifying...made worse by Hope's cancer recurrence and subsequent death.

He called to say thanks for visiting him and thinking of him and that he loved me. I saw him wasting away and now he's calling me. He sounds vibrant and aware and alive. I'm so happy that he has been given a second chance.

He has hope.

organ donation, consider it

Book Chapter

2009-05-01T07:14:00.003-05:00

The book came in the mail yesterday. I opened up to my chapter and on the random page that I picked...glaring mistakes. ARGH! Proofread...I hate to do it...I don't do it...I am embarassed. A revision now would see me chucking half of the writing and opting for a more planned and precise critique. There are some nice sections, then shit, then something nice.

Also, why the fuck did I use real names? Geesh, what was I thinking? I feel the fool, but that goes along with the whole idea. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't see some of these elmentary school chums on facebook. Weird.

Fuck You Cancer (Will, stop reading)

2009-04-28T19:30:00.003-05:00

I had a dream about Hope. It was kind of nice, then it turned on its nasty little head.

Jennifer, Hope and I were all on vacation (random). We were in some remote Fiji-esque place lounging in one of those huts with mosquito nets and billowy white sheers all around. I turned to talk to Hope and looked at the small of her back. She had the most beautiful glowing skin. I couldn't believe it. We were all talking about how beautiful and glowing we were when I realized that something wasn't right. Hope was dead...I knew it, but here she was...lounging and laughing.

This is where it gets kind of Total Recall. Will's mom shows up to tell me that the person lounging next to me isn't the original Hope.

"We've had her cloned," she said.

And at first I'm ok with it all, then I start thinking Jurassic Park and Lost and freak out because I think she's just going to get cancer again. "Is she going to get sick again?" I ask.

"Yes, she probably will," answers T, "but at least we get to spend time with her for a few years."

At this point, I'm livid, "You can't do that! She can't go through that again!" Then I add, "I can't go through that again!"

Sobs...lots of crying and yelling. "Have you told her? Does she know she's a clone?" I ask.

"No," says T. "We didn't think it was a good idea," she adds.

Now I get even angrier. I haven't felt that kind of conviction for months, hell, maybe a year. I was just so upset that she was going to suffer, even though I got to lounge on a beach with her and her beautiful glowing skin.

Funny, I don't think she would have been lounging on the beach in the first place.

Hey there Iris

2009-04-23T12:18:00.003-05:00

These are the iris bulbs that came from my grandmother's house in Georgia. They survived the trip and this is the second bloom while in NC. SO pretty...

Good Gravy

2009-04-20T07:27:00.002-05:00

The loveliness that is Colin Firth is in Durham. Damn you flu, damn you straight to hell for keeping me from properly stalking this beautiful man!

Flu

2009-04-19T10:10:00.002-05:00

I have just risen from a 24 hour sleep. The last thing I remember was around 2pm on Friday...it's now Sunday. An entire weekend went by and I have nothing to show for it, other than a very distinct smell. I stink, but it kind of reminds me of the funk of a really good workout or a day of working in the yard. The kind of smell that makes you wrinkle your nose, while at the same time, make you feel a sense of accomplishment. The smell of accomplishment. I've probably crossed the tmi line, but I'm alive and sitting upright...that's quite and accomplishment.

Mason has mastered the stairs.

Scarlett had her 4 year well check this week. She was bouncing off the walls, recovering from the flu. I can only hope that I'll be bouncing off the walls in a couple of hours. I've got so much writing to do! So we went through the check up with her climbing on the table, off the table, running to one wall, then the other...mass consultation room chaos. She's super tall for her age and Dr. Susan made the comment that she looks older than 4. This doesn't help the crazy bouncing of the walls image. The session ended with Scarlett being upset because she wasn't brave during her shots.

"They hurt," she said. I think she was surprised.

"It's ok to cry, I know they hurt," I tried to comfort her.

"I'm sad because I wasn't brave," says the 4 yr old. I don't know why she thought she had to be brave.

It is beautiful in spring

2009-04-14T12:59:00.002-05:00

I can't breathe. My nose is in a constant state of agitation, running...stuffy, but damn, it is so nice outside. The trees are blooming, the irisssesssess are peeking out of the buds, and as I sit here in the yard, my computer screen gains a dusting of pollen. I had to get away from the sound of hammering and sawing. The guys in the attic are blaring the country music as they work. It's not the Faith Hill kind either, it's that real country stuff.

"Lord have mercy, baby's got her blue jeans on..." How I wish I didn't know so many song lyrics.

I should be working on one of the many projects I have for this semester. It's difficult to read with the cold in my head. I've got a teacher education curriculum to design, immigration and education paper to write, and a qualitative research study on teacher-led study groups to drum up. In addition, there's the audio recordings to transcribe, papers to grade for the course I teach, pedagogical autobiography to write, symposium presentation, letter to the president, and articles to read...oh, and I need to find a job. In all, things couldn't be better. I'll get over my cold eventually, the kids are healthy, having so much work means I'm worthy of someone's time, and Will seems happy. We have friends having babies and getting married. Life is busy and full.

I just need to work on being healthy, happy, and kind.

I slid into some skinny jeans today, that was a nice surprise. I won't pretend that they're not busting at the seams, but in all...it's a start. Those are last year skinny, not lifetime skinny.

I started digging in the backyard a few weeks ago. OH, I can't stop. I have found all kinds of glass jars and bottles. I think I'm near the end of treasure hunting. The two bones seemed all too human.

To my surprise, a root canal is not very fun. Not that I expected laughs, but I did not expect tears. They let me watch a bit, then gave me the laughing gas. That stuff is not funny either. I spent the rest of the day feeling sick and sore. Like a train drove through my mouth, coal burning and all. The dentist discovered something I've known for years, I'm hypersensitive. I told her to hit me with a frying pan, but alas, no calaphon available.

I wonder what Dolly Parton looks like in person? I love singing 9 to 5.

Scarlett told me at lunch yesterday that she saw Aunt Hope at her school. She said she saw her through the window...standing in the grass. Creeped me out. Kids can be so creepy, all of them. I suppose because we assume innocence on their part and don't become suspect of what they say. Not that I think she didn't see her, maybe she did, but I also know that she gets lots of attention from me when I think she's sad. I want her to be happy.

Hank Williams, Jr. is playing through the attic windows and step-brother is singing along. On that note, I'm moving out of earshot. How about some silence fellas?

Congratulations Mack

2009-04-13T09:16:00.001-05:00

You have a new baby brother! Welcome baby Parker John!

Hey there Easter Bunny

2009-04-12T12:36:00.003-05:00

The Easter Bunny left eggs in the backyard for two sick kiddos. Mason and Scarlett both have awful allergies and then Scarlett had a terrible fever. Egg hunts and pollen, yuck.

Jake and the boys visit, finally

2009-04-12T12:28:00.003-05:00

They really shouldn't let me do the Elaine dance in public.

So we were lucky enough to have a visit by the three wise men. It was nice to have them here and Scarlett LOVED playing. Jake and I got to sit up late chatting away, Will got his party bus on, and the boys and Scarlett made a trip to Topsail with Tina and her family. I stayed home to work.

Happy Birthday to You!

2009-04-08T13:34:00.002-05:00

This year we didn't have the time to take off and head down to Florida for my father's birthday. It's close to Scarlett's and not during my spring break. So Happy Birthday Dad! Expect some surprises...but nothing as exciting as a gravel truck!

Scarlett's 4th Birthday!

2009-03-28T16:31:00.003-05:00

Wow, I'm tired...but it was fun.

If you read this

2009-03-25T11:46:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday
Great
Great

Grandmother McCutcheon!

2009-02-12T11:30:00.001-05:00

I was HUGE

2009-02-04T11:29:00.002-05:00

Why didn't i think of that?

2009-01-22T08:32:00.002-05:00

Evernote is a company that organizes all of your files on your computer (photos, music, notes, etc) and syncs them across all your devices. A rather simple concept, but one many of us don't have time to accomplish.

Argh, there went another work at home business option. What about Yoga classes online? Film them allow members to access them from their work computers. Now I just need to learn Yoga.

Snow-bama Day

2009-01-20T20:57:00.002-05:00

Inauguration day at the Todd house + Snow Day NC style.

Recent Outings

2009-01-19T15:49:00.002-05:00

In Florida...

It makes me wanna dance

2008-12-22T21:38:00.000-05:00

Stop moving, smile, don't squeeze your brother

2008-12-18T10:47:00.002-05:00

Well, I tried to take some photos...

Eh

2008-12-09T15:27:00.002-05:00

I talk so much about Hope and her struggles that my friends here in North Carolina follow her progress. Sitting with A in the library and trying to write papers that seem so trivial, A keeps telling me about what other people have written about Hope. She follows the blogs, too. I realize then, that I have yet to write anything. I suppose it stems from my worry that...eh, nevermind.

Mason at school

2008-12-04T15:22:00.002-05:00

Chugga, chugga

2008-12-04T15:19:00.001-05:00

So maybe this has been my problem. Wandering through texts of previously unknown content, I have been tested repeatedly and found, upon self-reflection, to be inadequate. On the drive to teach my final class today, I listened to an old mixed cd, one that I can only assume I made in Omaha. A consistent theme ran through the songs, badass. Perhaps it was the Midwest, mustang-driving persona I inhabited for a short time, but it was there. I must have been very sure of myself. I haven’t listened to a cd in the car in ages and I mistakenly turned it up after sliding the cd in, thinking that the volume was low. Static, then….blaring Rob Zombie. Wow, what must the neighbors have thought? They don’t seem the Zombie type.

Back from Savannah

2008-11-03T09:30:00.003-05:00

I had a successful conference trip to Savannah this weekend. I hate that I missed out on a few days of the conference, but family is just as important as work. Besides, I did network and chair a conference session. Tina and her friend Aleksa met us in Savannah and that was interesting. I think Tina did some networking too. We got to go to a low country boil and meet some fantastic people. Now I'm back home and freaking out over the massive amount of work I have to do. Which is, of course, why I'm on my blog instead of working...

2008-10-26T17:49:00.001-05:00

Pumpkin Farm fun

2008-10-24T11:43:00.002-05:00

We made our way over to Ganyard Farms last weekend and had a blast. This was our third year visiting that place with our friends. The first year the only kiddo was Scarlett, but this year we had Scarlett, Mason, Carson, Elise, Connor, and two baby bumps. All of these kids have been born since the first trip. Enjoy the pictures!

harharhar

2008-10-23T11:52:00.001-05:00

Yum?

2008-10-23T10:01:00.002-05:00

I've talked about this video to so many people, I thought I'd just post it on the ol' blog. Warning...if you can't handle an eight year old breast feeding...look away. Oh, Before you all freak out...that's a big NO for me. Mason will not be running along side of me looking for a little nip :)

Daddy and Daughter

2008-10-10T15:47:00.002-05:00

During the last few months of the pregnancy we tried to do as many activities as possible with Scarlett. We knew we were going to be giving so much attention to the baby that she might feel neglected. I'm not sure that the plan worked to make her feel better, but it was fun.

These are pictures from one of those Lowes projects that they have on Saturday mornings. Scarlett wasn't old enough to attend at the store, so a nice employee gave us the project to do at home. She built a planter with a see through front. Supercool! Thanks Lowes.

Cooking at school

2008-10-10T15:40:00.003-05:00

We just received a journal entry from Scarlett's school on their Creative Curriculum website. It talks about making a pumpkin pie and then had this cute picture of the kids. One of the kids is a notorious nose picker...no pie for me, thanks.

Oh Bama!

2008-10-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

Light the fires...

Camera fun

2008-10-01T11:56:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday & Congratulations

2008-09-23T06:30:00.002-05:00

Mason is 3 months old today! He slept from 9pm to 6am last night, yippee!

Scarlett got up at 3am and went potty then went back to bed...all on her own. Fantastic! I heard her in the bathroom and went to check on her. She said, "I'm just going potty." I left and she did her thing then went back to bed. She's the coolest...Oh, especially now that Mr. Walter showed her the cool kid fist bump and Mr. Ryan showed her to "slip me some skin."

In other news, congratulations John and Esther. We can't wait to see the new cousin.

Well

2008-09-12T11:45:00.002-05:00

I don't blog much because I don't have time. Really I don't have anything to talk about. I don't take enough pictures to appease the family and in my work time, I'm always reading things you probably don't care about. Then I have my little celebrity fetish. I had to quit reading actual news because I kept reading stories that made me cry. So now I wonder...

-How did Jessica Simpson ever get a recording contract? Did they think she would get better? Her country album is terrible. Have you seen the footage of her singing live. YIKES! I think someone told her to sing with a southern drawl and it would all be ok. They lied.

-Along the same lines...is Tony Romo tone deaf?

-Do Ellen and Portia share clothes? I saw video clips from their wedding. It really was beautiful. I wonder if they will have babies.

-Can Sarah Palin work on her accent? I really hate it. Makes me feel like I'm back in Omaha. If they win the election, argh, please let her adopt a more appealing tone.

-Why does Mason have less hair than Scarlett? I really thought he would be the ultimate ape child. We know he has my skin tone, as opposed to Will's tan, perhaps he also has my hair...or my Dad's. I guess we know what he will look like when he's 40.

-Why does the university make students cry? A student arrived late to class last night and she was so stressed out she was crying. I told her to relax and we could work out whatever is going on. She either pulled a fast one or colleges need to dispense anti-anxiety drugs with textbooks. Either way, I don't want to be the cause of a nervous breakdown...especially in elementary education.

-When can we talk to Hope? The idea of taking medication to level out mood is depressing, I know, but sometimes it's necessary. OR Tom Cruise needs to pay a visit.

-Why isn't there a place to change a diaper in Peabody? I have no place to pump (because I share an office and I don't think my mates would appreciate it) and no place to change a poop.

-What the hell is Hole in the Wall? Really? Someone watches this? Oh wait, maybe I should call my Mom before I write more...

eh, time to read

Say Cheese

2008-08-11T15:59:00.002-05:00

Mason is such a happy boy.

One Month

2008-08-11T15:47:00.004-05:00

So here are the kids at one month!

Mason

Scarlett

What happens when you're away?

2008-07-18T19:00:00.001-05:00

Silly Kids!

Happy July 4th!

2008-07-04T14:27:00.002-05:00

Wishing you some awesome fireworks with friends and family!

Anna, Will, Scarlett, & Mason

Hello Mason!

2008-06-26T22:53:00.001-05:00

Mason Russell
June 23, 2008
9:06 am
7lbs 14oz
20.5 inches

Proper update soon.

Um, Wow...

2008-06-07T11:22:00.000-05:00

I just saw this and thought I would share. It's kind of funny and very scary. I can't imagine what it would feel like to have your kid say, "It's fun to do bad things." I'm sure the grandmother wants to do more than just "whip his behind."

Making Pizza

2008-05-28T19:05:00.003-05:00

The Ladies made some yummy pizza after a shopping trip to Trader Joe's.

Welcome Carson Thomas!

2008-05-28T10:06:00.003-05:00

Our friends Brian and Hilary had a baby boy this morning. The little man was scheduled for a c-section on Thursday...he liked the breech position. To everyone's surprise, Hilary's water broke last night and Carson arrive around 2am...on the happy couple's anniversary.

Congratulations on a healthy baby boy!

Fun at the beach

2008-05-28T00:28:00.003-05:00

We just returned from a trip to visit Will's Dad and family at the beach. Scarlett had a GREAT time. She loved swimming in the pool and chopping up my sand castle.

And yes, I am posting pics of me at 9 months in a bikini....hahaha!

Book Chapter, written by moi!

2008-05-23T23:25:00.003-05:00

Got some great news today. I submitted some writing for a book chapter last summer and I just received confirmation that I am included. The title is Trajectories: The Education and Social Mobility of Education Scholars from the Poor and Working Class.

It should be available early next year. Now I need to come up with a title for my chapter...

As Scarlett says, "Go Mommy go!"

Happy Birthday Aunt Renee!!

2008-05-14T18:51:00.000-05:00

One great picture coming soon.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T22:35:00.003-05:00

To all the momses...

Today was also my graduation day! Yay for me. I asked Will how big I looked walking across the stage. "Big," he said with a grimace, "But obviously pregnant." As I walked across I could hear Scarlett cheering, "Go Mommy, Go Mommy, Go Mommy." It was great.

Like a beach ball in a trash bag...

A Birthday Party on the Farm

2008-05-10T18:36:00.005-05:00

We had a great day today. One of Scarlett's friends had a birthday party on a farm. We chased chickens, rode horses, and played in the vegetables.

You're gonna love this...

Premonition

2008-05-06T22:25:00.001-05:00

So on October 11th, I wrote a blog entry that read, "There must be a young, perhaps in the blastocyst stage, cynic out there waiting for my future wisdom." Little did I know, I was pregnant...only by a few days.

a little melancholy...

2008-05-06T22:13:00.002-05:00

ack, it's hormones...

Here's a happy picture.

A hair cut and a cry

2008-04-27T17:35:00.002-05:00

We took Scarlett in for a much needed haircut today. I was thinking...shoulder length...it ended up being much shorter. She loves it, but as soon as the first tresses started hitting the floor, I started to cry. I had to walk outside. It's silly, but she just looked very different. I love it now, but man, what drama.

The Cult of Oprah?

2008-04-21T08:59:00.001-05:00

From one extreme to another...

BPA in plastics...

2008-04-16T10:12:00.002-05:00

I had already started buying glass baby bottles after reading some of the research out there, but here is an update on the chemical/plastics issue.

U.S. Cites Fears on Chemical In Plastics
By Lyndsey Layton
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, April 16, 2008; A01

A federal health agency acknowledged for the first time yesterday concerns that a chemical found in thousands of everyday products such as baby bottles and compact discs may cause cancer and other serious disorders.

The draft report by the National Toxicology Program signaled a turning point in the government's position on bisphenol A, or BPA, a chemical so ubiquitous in the United States that it has been detected in the urine of 93 percent of the population over 6 years of age.

Last year, another expert panel using outside scientists minimized the health risks of BPA, but its findings were widely assailed after a congressional investigation found that a firm hired to perform scientific analysis was also working for the chemical industry.

Used in the production of plastic since the 1950s, BPA may be linked in laboratory animals to breast cancer, prostate cancer, early puberty in females and behavioral changes, according to the study released yesterday. It called for more research into the chemical's health effects.

Although the National Toxicology Program, an office of the National Institutes of Health, has no power to regulate BPA, its findings are used by other federal agencies such as the Food and Drug Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency, which set safe exposure limits for chemicals.

"What we've got is a warning, a signal, of some concerns," said Mike Shelby, director of the Center for the Evaluation of Risks to Human Reproduction, who oversaw the report. "We could not dismiss the possibility that similar or related effects might occur in humans."

Public health advocates said the report should spur the government to ban BPA, at least in baby products. Formula-fed infants are most vulnerable to the chemical, since it is found in baby bottles as well as in the linings of cans of powdered and liquid formula. "They get a double exposure," said Anila Jacob, a senior scientist at the nonprofit Environmental Working Group.
But Steven G. Hentges, executive director of the polycarbonate/BPA global group at the American Chemistry Council, said the new report does not mean BPA is unsafe.

"It found no serious or high-level concerns for human health," he said. "More research is always considered valuable."

The toxicology panel used a five-level rating system, ranging from serious concern to negligible concern. It labeled the possible cancer risk of BPA as "some concern," in the middle of the scale. There was not enough scientific evidence to rank it as a "concern" or a "serious concern," Shelby said.

Asked in an interview whether exposure to BPA can be eliminated, Shelby paused. "It's everywhere," he said. "It's not clear that we know what all the sources of BPA exposure are. The vast majority of exposure is through food and drink -- cans and bottles. But there could be trace amounts in water, dust. Your cellphone is probably made out of it."

Since BPA is most readily absorbed through food and drink containers, health advocates have been particularly focused on how the Food and Drug Administration is regulating the chemical. An FDA spokesman declined to comment on the new report, saying the agency has not had a chance to review it.

The FDA has been under fire from the House Energy and Commerce Committee, which has been investigating the influence of the chemical industry on the agency's regulation of BPA in plastic liners in metal cans of baby formula.

Last month, in response to questions from lawmakers, the FDA said it had disregarded hundreds of government and academic studies about the cancer risks of BPA and used just two studies funded by the chemical industry to determine that the chemical is safe.

Yesterday's report should spur the FDA to reconsider its decisions regarding BPA, said Reps. John D. Dingell (D-Mich.), the Energy and Commerce chairman, and Bart Stupak (D-Mich.), chairman of the panel's oversight and investigations subcommittee.

"These assessments fly in the face of the FDA's determination that BPA is safe," Dingell said through a spokesman. "I hope the FDA is willing to reconsider their position on BPA for the safety of our infants and children."

Rep. Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif.), chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, said, referring to the National Toxicology Program: "It appears that NTP has really listened to the concerns of scientists in this field. This is an important public health issue, and we can't afford to get it wrong."

Concern about BPA has been growing for years, and the chemistry council's Web site has pages devoted to responding to "scare stories" about the chemical. "The weight of scientific evidence clearly supports the safety of BPA and provides strong reassurance that there is no basis for human health concerns from exposure to BPA," one page says.

A number of states, including California and New Jersey, are considering bans on BPA. Others, such as Maine, may require manufacturers to place warning labels on products containing it.

The worries have been a boon for a two-year-old company, Born Free, that manufactures BPA-free baby bottles and sippy cups. The company can't turn out bottles fast enough, and demand intensifies with new scientific studies.

"Every time there is a publication, after a few days, we're out of stock," said Gil Lemel, the company's chief executive. "Every time we think we are better prepared, it never is enough. We make 80,000 bottles a day, and we have no inventory."

House of the Mouse

2008-04-13T21:02:00.003-05:00

Scarlett visited Disney World and it was the best trip to WDW ever. It rained periodically during the day, but we managed to stay dry until the walk to the car. Scarlett met princesses and characters and was so happy. She couldn't wait to meet Cinderella and kept asking where we could find her. When she finally had a few minutes with the big C, she asked "May I see your slippers?" and "Where's the Prince?" I can't say I've ever had more fun at a theme park. It really is all the about the magic.

Happy Birthday Dad!

2008-04-13T21:00:00.003-05:00

My father had another birthday...way to age. Much better than the alternative.

Icing

2008-04-13T20:57:00.003-05:00

Icing is a strange food.

NYC, scientology and a mammoth

2008-04-13T20:42:00.003-05:00

I spend a few days in the city and come home with two pictures...of course, one a picture of my favorite pseudo religion. The trip was interesting. My little cough developed into a cold and I sat in the hotel room a couple of nights drinking robitussin and watching bad tv. During the day I ventured out, but soon found that pregnant legs and heat don't mix.

I visited the Museum of Natural History and that was a first. The Met is my favorite, but I thought I would give history a shot. The school buses wrapped around the building should have been a hint. I did see one twelve year old boy sporting a t-shirt that read "I am McLovin."

Stopping by FAO Schwartz, I picked up some birthday presents for Scarlett. That was fun. Oh, and K and I went to see Cry Baby. It was great fun. Some songs include Can I Kiss You with Tongue and, my favorite, Screw Loose. If you're in town, check out the show while it's in preview...the tickets are half price.

Sen Diego will host the conference next year...and I'll be back to my non-preggers self.

Happy Birthday Scarlett!!

2008-03-28T18:52:00.001-05:00

It's official...she's 3. I got back from New York just in time.

Raleigh wages war against...disposals

2008-03-17T08:49:00.002-05:00

For those living in Raleigh, they will be faced with a new law making it a crime to repair or buy a garbage disposal. That's right, the thing in your sink that chews up bits of food (and the occasional spoon). There's a hefty fine of $25,000 a day if you break the rule, which will be enforced by the boys in blue collars, plumbers. It just seems kind of silly for the capital city to ban disposals. What are the rules where you live?

We went to the movies

2008-03-16T12:08:00.002-05:00

I think it was last summer when we took Scarlett to see Shrek the Third. Since then, every time we drive past the movie theater she says, "Remember when we went to see Shrek and had popcorn?" Well, when we heard that Horton Hears a Who was coming, we made plans to attend. So Saturday morning we loaded up with some friends and surprised Scarlett by taking her to see the movie...and we had popcorn! She sat in my lap the entire movie and munched away. About halfway through, she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I like Horton." It was great fun.

Go see the movie...we all liked it. Oh, and I especially like the reference to the extremely controlling kangaroo "pouch-schooling" her kid.

Oh, Sally Kern...so self-righteous

2008-03-15T18:00:00.002-05:00

So here's a letter from a high school student to Sally Kern, the politician from Oklahoma who so adamantly hates homosexuals. Ms. Kern discussed how early childhood education has been put into place in order to bring the gay agenda to two year olds. She also stated that homosexuals were more of a threat to this country than terrorist and (a step further in the idiot direction) Islam. Google her if you want to hear it in your own words...she's not worth the hyperlink.

Rep Kern:

On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would've likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn't live up to them pay with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worst than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind of doubt you'll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother's killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they've been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman that was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City? Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I've spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there's never a day in school that has went by when I haven't heard the word **** slung at someone. I've been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They've already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. Afterall, you are a teacher and a lawmaker, many young people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could've met my mom. Maybe she could've guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she won't be there. So I'll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again. I don't want to be here for that. I just can't go through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something. The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me. Your words disrespected the memory of my mom. Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.

Sincerely

Tucker

It's the closest thing we have to a parental license

2008-03-08T17:54:00.003-05:00

Friday, Mar. 07, 2008

Criminalizing Home Schoolers

By Kristin Kloberdanz/Modesto

Parents of the approximately 200,000 home-schooled children in California are reeling from the possibility that they may have to shutter their classrooms — and go back to school themselves — if they want to continue teaching their own kids. On Feb. 28, Judge H. Walter Croskey of the Second District Court of Appeals in Los Angeles ruled that children ages six to 18 may be taught only by credentialed teachers in public or private schools — or at home by Mom and Dad, but only if they have a teaching degree. Citing state law that goes back to the early 1950s, Croskey declared that "California courts have held that under provisions in the Education Code, parents do not have a constitutional right to home school their children." Furthermore, the judge wrote, if instructors teach without credentials they will be subject to criminal action.

This news raised a furor among home schooling advocates, including government officials. "Every California child deserves a quality education and parents should have the right to decide what's best for their children," Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said in a statement today. "Parents should not be penalized for acting in the best interests of their children's education. This outrageous ruling must be overturned by the courts and if the courts don't protect parents' rights then, as elected officials, we will." "It's kind of scary," says Julie Beth Lamb, an Oakdale, California, parent who, with no teaching credentials, has taught her four children for 15 years. "If that ruling is held up, this would make us one of the most restrictive states in the nation."

The debacle originated with a suit over child abuse. One of the eight children of Philip and Mary Long, a Los Angeles couple, had filed a complaint of abuse and neglect with the L.A. Department of Children and Family Services. The agency determined that the Long children were being home schooled, taught by their uncredentialed mother while officially enrolled in independent study at Sunland Christian School. The DCFS then turned to the courts to mandate that the children attend public school so that teachers might spot evidence of abuse (a charge the parents deny). A juvenile court, however, determined that the Longs had a constitutional right to home school their children. The DCFS appealed and the case landed in Croskey's appellate court.

For years, the state of California has allowed parents to home school as long as they file papers to create a private school and hire a tutor with credentials or if their child participates in an independent study program through a credentialed school. In evaluating the Long case, however, Judge Croskey found that state law forbade any home schooling that was not taught by a credentialed teacher and that what California had been allowing was, in his judicial opinion, illegal. In 1953, another appellate court ruled against home-schooling parents who didn't want to adhere to California's compulsory education laws, which require kids between six and 18 to attend a credentialed school. The current case is most likely to be appealed to California's Supreme Court.

"We weren't trying to change the law on home schooling," says Leslie Heimov of the Children's Law Center, which represents the Long children involved in the case. "The law is accurate — it hasn't changed since the 1950s." She says the Center does not even have an opinion on home schooling. They just wanted to do what was best for the children represented in the case.

The fact that this sweeping ruling has sprung from such an individualized case is what has most outraged home schooling advocates. "Public schools are not a solution to the problem of child abuse," says Leslie Buchanan, president of the HomeSchool Association of California. Jack O'Connell, California State Superintendent of Public Instruction — the equivalent of a department of education — now faces the potential crisis of dealing with tens of thousands of truants. Does he know what will happen next? "I honestly don't know," O'Connell says, adding that his department is reviewing the case. "There is some angst in the field."

Limitations

2008-03-07T15:24:00.003-05:00

It is a painful reality when you can't achieve all that you believed. I've always tried, regardless (and maybe because) of humble beginnings, to do as many things as possible. There isn't a stopping point on the achievement scale. Recently I've learned that my abilities don't necessarily match my convictions.

Or maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself...rejection is never easy.

The Stones were wrong.

Like Hope once said,

2008-02-10T11:10:00.000-05:00

"I have a penis inside me right now." Yep, it's boy.

Like a Rolling Stone, time is on my side?

2008-02-10T11:03:00.000-05:00

February 26...thesis due. My friends ask, "You mean the proposal?" Unfortunately, no. That gives me 16 days. Complications...Will travels, I'm pregnant and I have a cold, and Scarlett can't help me research. An ideal environment for me would be an isolated cell. It will happen, I'm just not sure how or when.

COMPleted

2008-01-25T20:25:00.000-05:00

After seven hours of intense writing (in one sitting), I have completed my comprehensive exams...all three questions. Note to self, never do this again.

ugh...at least it's over.

Don't wanna be all lonely

2008-01-13T22:19:00.001-05:00

For those of you that weren't quite sure...yes, I'm

We're all excited about adding another Todd to the group, especially now that the morning sickness has passed. Scarlett keeps saying the baby is growing and it's going to pop out of my belly and walk. That would be a sight.

She's been a little difficult lately because she doesn't want to sleep in her room by herself. "I don't want to be all lonely," she says in the most pitiful little girl voice. Her drama coach has taught her well. Little does she know, she is about to get all the company she never wanted. In a few years it'll be, "leave me alone."

I received confirmation for my roll up into the PhD, only three more years to go.

Big Families

2007-12-18T10:45:00.000-05:00

A friend recently introduced me to the quiverfull lifestyle. She's been researching religion and read about these families during her research. If you don't know, this is a Christian based philosophy for child-bearing and life. They believe that every child is a gift from God, hence any type of birth control or family planning is shunned and against the will of God.

According to wikipedia, the movement was sparked most fully after the 1985 publication of Mary Pride’s book The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality. In her book, Pride chronicled her journey away from what she stated were feminist and anti-natal ideas of happiness, within which she had lived as an activist before her conversion to conservative evangelical Christianity in 1977, toward her discovery of happiness surrounding what she said was the Biblically mandated role of wives and mothers as bearers of children and workers in the home under the authority of a husband. Pride wrote that such a lifestyle was generally Biblically required of all married Christian women but that most Christian women had been unknowingly duped by feminism, importantly in their acceptance of birth control.

As the basis for her arguments, Pride selected numerous Bible verses to lay out what she felt was the Biblical role of women. These included verses she saw as containing her ideas of childbearing and non-usage of birth control, which she argued were opposed to what she called "the feminist agenda" by which she had formerly lived. Pride's explanations became a spearheading basis of Quiverfull.

Families following these practices are inclined to practice homeschooling, homesteading in a rural area, and homechurching (or whatever it's called).

If you do some research on the internet you can find many historically transfixed large families. The smiling faces disregard the potential pitfalls and dangers to women in these families. What happens when you give birth to 8, 12, or 17 children? Andrea Yates, the mother who drowned her five children in the bathtub allegedly followed the quiverfull teachings.

However horrible the Yates story, there seems to be many happy quiverfull families. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have been featured multiple times on television. They have 17 children, the first born in 1988, the last this summer. The Crank family have six children and a magazine. They discuss important issues in each installment, like the importance of girls wearing long dresses and whether it's a parent's role to begin the courtship/marriage process for the child.

I think it's interesting reading, but I'm not going to start popping out babies like PEZ anytime soon.