I was out painting the deck and I had a conversation with Hope. I asked her what I should tell Scarlett because of the random and varied questions she throws at me. We'll be driving in the car or she'll be watching a show and suddenly start crying or become sad, "because I miss Aunt Hope."
We'll today we we're watching a recording of So You Think You Can Dance...we like to pretend we can dance, Scarlett and I. Damn them for giving us a reason to talk.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Yesterday
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If Scarlett figures it out let me know. I talk to Hope all the time with the boys and by myself. She has come to me twice at night in what didn't feel like a dream but could have been. Nathan tonight said he felt mommy with him and was giving her a hug. He held it for a long time, was not laughing, and I think he really felt that way. I wrote a letter for Hospice about our experience so they could use it for fundraising, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was sobbing and uncontrollably crying like I used to right after she passed away. Every time I think I'm getting better something like that happens. If Scarlett figures it out, please let us know. You guys should come down for a visit, you and I mean especially you need to get away. It will all be there when you get back but it won't feel as difficult. This is the first time I've checked out your blog, I'll try to do that more often. The Fuck You one was cool, you're brain is worse then mine and I mean that as a huge compliment. I wish I had your ability to describe things and find the perfect word or phrase like you. I feel like I type the same 100 words and never use anything else. Anyway, I'm done, I've probably hit my 100 word limit...
- Just Jake.
I watched this episode of So You Think You Can Dance (because I watch them all), and it was beautiful. I thought of Hope, and Jake, and all of you. This was one of the most memorable contemporary dance moments I've seen. It's amazing how dance is such an expression of emotion, except when I do it.
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