Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Movies I watch, more than once

Breakfast at Tiffany's (so often Will clued in to buy it for a gift...really is a big deal)

Love, Actually
Bridget Jones' Diary
Sixteen Candles
Gone with the Wind (recitation on demand)
Summer School
The End of the Affair
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Baby Boom
Funny Farm
Peggy Sue Got Married

I'm awaiting a committee meeting tomorrow at 1pm. Guess I can waste time watching movies...and forth...

Blues Brothers
Holiday Inn
Forgetting Sarah Marshall..cereal and surfing
Requiem for a Dream
Notting Hill (really love it)
Imagine Me & You
Love Story
Almost anything with Parker funny
St. Elmo's Fire (always wanted to have a group like that...I think I did...didn't like my role)
The Last Starfighter
The Lost Boys
Point Break
Logan's Run
Adventure's in Babysitting
Red Dawn
Road House
Big Trouble in Little China
Real Genius
Top Guns

more for later

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Monday, November 2, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009


Some people are so full of shit...but so be it. Just. be. genuine. honest. sincere. polite. open. kind.

Faltering happens

Lacking kindness on occasion

Humble infrequently



Genuine and Open

Monday, September 14, 2009

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Big ass spider

I love lawn work. In the race to the lawnmower, I always win...or at least Will lets me think I've won. Sunday I went to the cavernous bomb shelter to get the lawnmower and was confronted by a BIG ASS SPIDER! Now you are thinking that I'm exaggerating and just thought it was large...being that I'm terrified of the little freaks, but NO, it really was a BIG ASS SPIDER. I woke Will from a snooze on the sofa because I had to show him this mutant living under the house. My brave fella got the flashlight and went into the den of freakish insects and arachnids to search out the critter. He looked around and saw nothing then, crunch, or more like, mush. I think he broke one of it's legs. We put the specimen in a glass jar so we could both be disgusted by the furry brown gag inspiring creature. That's all, nothing else, it was gross, Will caught it, I think there may be more, it's in a jar, and it was a BIG ASS SPIDER.

In other news, classes started and this will be my last year of coursework. I've got the year worked out so that I will no longer have to sit through three hours of mind and ass numbing lectures. I can't tell you how relieved I feel. Now it just comes down to keeping up and learning something for comps and dissertation. Understand, however, that I might not have a job lined up to pay for this lifetime of debt, as I am too old and weathered to strip and my people skills (or lack there of) stop me from working reception. We'll see.

Mason has become Scarlett's shadow. It is so heartwarming to see the two of them running around and playing. He wants to do whatever she is doing. If she sits in the floor working on a puzzle, he is right there messing with the pieces. Scarlett loves her brother or her baby. She races to see him first thing in the morning and gets upset if anyone else opens his door. They are the coolest goobers here. Mason has started saying many new words: Mabel, Jack, kitty, dog, Moo, Baa, Momma, Dada, this or that, all done, more more, bye and hi. There are more, but I can't think of them at the moment. Scarlett can read some words and can write almost anything. She carries around a little notebook taking notes. She looks like a miniature Nancy Drew, so cute.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Planning a trip to FL

We didn't make it over the summer...too much going on at the house.

Looks like Will is making plans...wants to see family and friends.

Don't know when...sometime in September.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

From Hope

Check out this site, enter your zip code and it will tell you what you can recycle in your area.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Tupelo in The Cave

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to enjoy the melodies of an old friend, Ashley Chambliss. At 14, I can remember sitting by her piano and listen to her create a storm of sound. She turned the keyboard into an entire orchestra...she was 16. We laughed, sang, played, and drank (yes mom and dad). We used cans of hair spray to get awesome beehives and drove our chorus teacher nuts with laughter. Sharing clothes, make up, and secrets, we had fun. I probably had a crush on her. I remember a falling out...I think over a peach prom dress (can you believe it?). So many years ago, but still, I find her amazing. She feels and puts it out there with her songs.

A few years ago we started chatting and emailing, yay technology. We shared stories about our life paths with brutal honesty. It seemed easy to be honest about the suburbs with someone I felt connected to in an oppositional way.

She is so talented. Her skill at the keyboard and her heartfelt songs mean something to me. Even Hope, once commented on how much she loved Ashley's music. You can look in the archive for her reference. Ashley inspires me. I watch her play in a dingy dark "cave" with low hanging ceilings and a shop vac duct taped to the toilet. Red wine courage brought me into the bar and the minute I heard her say my name, I felt like one of those screeching "Oh My God" girls.

Her performance was great and I can't wait to see her play again. She seems like she is in such a good place in her life. So talented, thoughtful, beautiful, and peaceful...I hope I can make a positive impact in her life, too.

Much love to you Ashley


Sunday, August 2, 2009

What I do know

is that you are there for me....our roaming bubble of health, happiness, and kindness.

you can talk for 12 hours about college football, players turned pro, and college conspiracy theories.

you let me sleep in on Saturday morning...knowing that Sunday you may not get to sleep in for as long.

the happiest moments in my life were because of you.

you took the baggage, the jealousy, the skinny broken teenager...the whole package, bumps, bruises, family and all.

you are there, always.

in the middle of the night when that terror strikes, so rare now, you will get out of bed and turn the lights on in the house and walk me to the kitchen. You're awake, you say. and it's ok.

you are a better judge of people's intentions, sometimes.

you sure can run.

everyday, I remember fewer days of me and more days of us, and I like it.

you crack a mean of my favorite days...ever.

the card reader in Jackson Square in New Orleans told us that I was going to have a couple of amazing things happen in my life and that you better hope to be there...they did and you were there...

you let me throw a broom at you.

against unappreciative eyes, you carried my laundry.

Zook didn't scare you away.

get your geek on Friday is fun because of you.

you fold laundry and remove spiders, my superhero.

I linger in stores, "just one more thing," you let me be that bag lady scavenger.

you want a crazy RV too.

Friday, July 31, 2009

On the way to the post office

S: Where are we going?

Me: Just down the street. (the kid knows how to get anywhere and everywhere)

S: are we going to the place where you mailed those letters that time, remember that

Me: Yes, that is where we're going. I do remember.

S: Why did you mail those letters?

Me: They were different types of letters. Some to friends and family.

S: Why did you send them letters?

Me: Because I care about them and love them.

S: and you miss them?

Me: That too.

S: I want to send a letter to Aunt Hope, cause I miss her.



Changing Mason's poop diaper after lunch

He reached up and grabbed my hair laughing

Gooey substance

Peanut butter or poop?


Friday, July 24, 2009


I was out painting the deck and I had a conversation with Hope. I asked her what I should tell Scarlett because of the random and varied questions she throws at me. We'll be driving in the car or she'll be watching a show and suddenly start crying or become sad, "because I miss Aunt Hope."

We'll today we we're watching a recording of So You Think You Can Dance...we like to pretend we can dance, Scarlett and I. Damn them for giving us a reason to talk.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


A day early so that I said it First!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

You never can tell

It’s the sense that you know the horrors and the bad that makes having children so difficult. I feel it looming, that cloud of danger, omnipresent and dark. They hover in the distance, lurking, waiting for a step away in trusted surroundings and a false sense of security. You can’t trust that. Not in the projects, not in the suburbs. They are there and danger is certain. It’s knowing that frightens me the most. Panic. Fear. Pain that enters in the time when I’m alone…

Last night I dreamed of a ship. The water. As it started to sink I climbed staring up at the foaming waves. The railing was white. It was an earthquake.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Thursday, July 16, 2009


One bottle of red and no filter. Suck it.

MY students are funny. I call them mine like I have some sense of ownership, but at one time in their lives, I did “own “ them as far as the Brevard county school district is concerned.

My point, I don’t have one. I began the day bitter. My ankle was twisted and I hated my PhD program and I felt like I went too hard on the contractor. Did I mention I dyed my hair four times this month, talk about mood swings…

So I asked on facebook, tell me about a moment between us, when I met you, etc… Some of my former students replied, so honestly. Yes, I (we if Davidson is concerned) took them to Lucky Chengs….which according to the Sheraton TV was a family restaurant. Let’s just say, it’s not, and it was fantastic. Anywho, I will be interested in taking any and all to a reunion at the joint.

FYYFF (Davidson, you know what this means)

John Grisham, your daughter is sweet. Her car is above her status as a human. You write and make me question ethics. Fuck you.

Chris Connelly, you used to tell me about the “news” on Mtv, now you “read” for ESPN. Fuck you.

Nicholas Sparks, you wrote The Notebook. I cried for two fucking hours after watching the movie. You’re no Graham Greene, you bastard. Fuck you for making me feel insignificant and unloved. Fuck you.

Ryan Reynolds. Abs. Funny. Nuf said. Fuck you.

Megan Fox. Two movies away from cinemax, but damn, you are hot. Fuck you.

Jim. Wild hair. You make me feel inadequate, continually. Ahhhh, but candy bikinis. Fuck you.

Silver hair. So we have met for the first time, but not the last time. The shock of the light blonde hair after that OOPS shower was a littler overwhelming. I mean, I wanna look all superhero and such, but oh my, didn’t expect such a mess. Silver, you are my nemesis and my maker. Fuck you.

Eyeliner. My addiction. Who knew you could tube down the Soque with your eyes on? I did! Fuck you.

Ben Affleck. You had your chance…..Benanna. Fuck you.

You. You don’t hear me. Fuck you.

Planes. There are those that believe in your nonsense of mid air travel. They are fools looking for a quick fix. Fuck you.

Oprah. You didn’t visit Hope, not even a letter. You talk of spirit to middle class white mothers. Fuck you.

Ankle. Fuck you.

HBO. When are you going to teach me about some strange cult of sexual deviants that I have yet to discover? You keep airing real sex episodes from 1988. I want to see new hippies in the woods. Fuck you.

Sun. You cause cancer. I love you and your embracing warmth. Fuck you.

Sarah Palin. That voice, ugh. Fuck you.

You, with the vagina. Stop having children and get a job. Fuck you.

Bitter childless Doctors. Fuck you.

Torn meniscus? What the fuck? Bucket flap? Fuck you.

No, you don’t need calgon. You just need an IUD, a passport, and a fancy backpack. Fuck you.

CCC’s…change the world, welcome culture, but not in my backyard or from my wallet. Fuck you.

“I think you just wrote this paper to write one and be done with it.” No shit. Do you think I would sit around in the middle of watching someone I love die and throw myself into your research? Fuck you.

Transcribe them, I don’t even know them…Fuck you.

So I heard you died. Sorry I missed it. I’m sure you would have loved seeing me there. I’m not sure that anyone who carries around a giant cardboard cut out of themselves half naked could be anything but a narcissistic asshole. Fuck you.

But you died alone at a nursing home. Nursing home, Fuck you.

Tara Reid. I watched a movie…you were in it…it was awful and impossible to turn off. Fuck you.



Dr: So is the new medication helping you sleep?

Me: No, but the new meds, two klonopin, tylenol pm, and three blue moons are working a little

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Father's Day at the Ballpark - Part II

Second Year, Two kids, more fun!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Saturday, June 13, 2009

My first 5k for Hope

I'm a little too emotional to write now, but know that this was an amazing event. Moving, truly.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

to some of you

believe the drama because you want to
exaggerate the truth because it’s in your nature
need someone to fall a step behind
can’t help it
were raised that way
aren’t considering the source
are exclusive
always have a story
make me laugh
know all about the life that comes with comfortable shoes
make words sing
melt my heart
have always been in my thoughts
let me get away with anything
have beautifully painted toenails
were a bitch in elementary school
were my friend
took me to the bathroom after I puked in your bed
danced with me all night long
are nosy
are not black
don’t know
need so much attention
want me
make me happy
need help
put my hand out when it caught on fire
carried me up three flights of stairs in Chicago
said I had a big forehead
are transparent
will understand one day
are a liar
are so focused
have a bad tattoo
have an unfortunate name
hurt me on purpose
didn’t know I could spell
should not have touched me there
are privileged
never apologized
always help
are jealous
are not my friend
spit milk out your nose
didn’t tell when I stuffed my bra
were a good kisser
are a phony
were cute
have ugly feet
must not know what it feels like
should be more honest with yourself
need a job
are neglectful
don’t respect your parents
have a nasty home
should not have children
smoke too much weed
are an idiot
are absentee
will miss me
have great taste
wore too much spandex
have tits that look like empty socks
are fortunate
are so honorable
should try harder
are always unhappy
will never get what you want
know all my favorite movies
are a weird dude
are a loud talker
won’t get out of the garage
won’t take me on an adventure
played Ratt on the stereo
wore jean cutoff shorts, too short
look very different
need to buy an rv
don’t act like a professional
are bitter and old
need another drink
got me on a plane
pretended not to notice me in the bar
broke my heart
are a horrible teacher
don’t know twat
love happy hour
will hate me one day
will never really know me
had a giant bush
tracked mud through the house
liked crystals
look like her
should be my friend
i loathe
are so short you fit in my armpit
aren't worth my tactics
let me shoot the gun
had a sinker in your toilet
always have stuff in your teeth
have a big voice
say butter and it's weird
stepped on my cat's tail
are not allowed to say, "wow"
didn't save me
hit me at the bus stop
made me feel special at your home
got a second chance
don't understand me

Monday, June 1, 2009

NC Zoo

So we decided to make a trek over to the NC Zoo in Asheboro. We saw a couple of animals, but on the whole had more fun walking around and hanging out. The kids are out of school now and I'm sure our days will be very interesting. Enjoy the pictures.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I have now been to the Grit

For a few years A has been yammering on about the grit...Elizabeth City, NC. Well, this weekend we traveled through a lack of cell reception and public toilets to attend her wedding in Elizabeth City. Beautiful! The town is cute (oh so tiny, but cute), the wedding was beautiful, and the bride was beautiful. It was great, except when I ran into the glass door, but still great. Our camera ran out of batteries (YET AGAIN). Here's what we collected.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Cute?! Baby ducks are cute!

Our first Bulls game of the season. We had tickets when Tina was here, but alas, we were rained out. It was the Blue Monster's birthday and Scarlett LOVED the hot dog canon! Tina, it shoots t-shirts, not hot dogs :( ...