Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Absurd moments of joy

You may not realize it, but I'm a happy person. However, don't call me out or make me prove my happiness to you. In a recent conversation about moments of joy, someone asked "what makes you happy?" and "where do you find joy?" My innate response to this line of questioning is resistance. I have answers to these questions, but how can I share my joys with a group of strangers?

The knotty oak outside my office window makes me happy. I gaze into the craggy bark and fantasize about the scholar seeking respite by the trunk and the lovers sheltered from the sun. The tree has a history a life...it's beautiful.

This morning I was attacked by a gang of two year-olds pretending to be lady bugs. As I tickled my way free from the miniature bandits, I seized upon their joy. This made me happy. Even more so, my own daughter sat back and worked on a puzzle while I played with the others. She seemed content to let them play with her mom. Her self-reliance makes me happy.

Climbing the stairs to my office, I pass a guy carrying a book bag, a diaper bag, and a baby in a sling. WOW! That was great. He said hi and I remarked, "Oh, hey baby," in my best happy mommy tone.

And yes, if you must have one more...bunnies make me happy. Will knows. I see a bunny and chirp, "ahh, a bunny!" Here's a conversation from today with an undisclosed person...

me: on the upside, bunnies make me happy

person: why you hatin'

me: bunnies are fun.

person: i like carrying their feet on my keys

me: no, bunnies really do make me happy
k and I were discussing it this morning
i like rabbits
they seem so happy, but i think they're really french
they smoke cigarettes when you aren't looking
and scoff at your art and sense of style

person: damn rabbits

I've got so much joy, you just don't know. I'm fortunate and happy, a little crazy, but that makes me fun.

I like

bad dancing
petty theft
drunken laughter
my daughter
& that guy I live with
happy babies
polite men
watering plants
falling leaves
blooming trees
cop clothes
teacher glasses
friends that know what you're thinking
& friends that know when to leave you alone
that show californication
david duchovny
military uniforms
celebrity magazines
personalized stuff
bike riding
warm water
being pregnant
the smell of books
my daughter's hair
crying at movies
french onion soup
moose tracks ice cream
making pizza
road trips
the zoo
the silence of snow
making people laugh
will's beard
reading the newspaper
shopping at thrift stores
refinishing furniture
mowing the grass
the upper west side
the fact that Will and I can spend every minute of the day together and still smile
walking across campus
the cafe in the Met
pepper on my poppykash
that every year gets better than the last.

1 comment:

Hope said...

Great entry......see you Friday!